Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Ol' "Brocas Helm" Ball!

The Crafty Old Veteran, the relief pitcher from Hell, is widely known for his amazing "Brocas Helm" ball, that has baffled hitters for decades. The pitch is associated with Metal band Brocas Helm because it possesses the same qualities of a Brocas Helm song - meaning it goes in all directions at once, and just when you think it is going to split into a million pieces, it darts over the plate to kill you! STRIKE THREE!!! Now, the Crafty Old Veteran reveals his inner secret of how to throw the Brocas Helm ball. Just look!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, the ball is dented! No wonder the Cirith Ungol softball team is undefeated! The aerodynamics of the pitch are scary, and puts batters into a starchy catatonic state. R8CM (Rudo's Eight Cent Marvels) learned that Baseball Hall of Fame relief pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm invented the pitch back in the 1950's, and gave it the apt 8 Cent name. R8CM recently asked Wilhem why he named it after Brocas Helm, especially since they wouldn't appear on the music scene until 30 years in the future. The relief ace replied "Snararoo! Kelpwashers! Brocas be Helm, how could it be called anything else?" What makes this all the more amazing is that Hoyt Wilhelm died in 2002.

For more on Brocas Helm, click here!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What the heck is an 8 Cent Marvel?