Back From Truro, Nova Scotia!!!

If you thought I was dead, if you thought this blog was dead, neeeyahhh, phooey on you-ey, hug Baby Huey, sync or swym, HE AIN'T DEAD, JIM!!! Rudo Anvilmeister went underground for 21 years (1987-2008), and now you are giving me sh*t for being gone for 5 weeks? Give me an 8 Cent Break!!!

Yeah, me and the wifeee-poo Angusette celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and went on an amazing trip to the Northern Land of Canada, and a pilgrimage to Truro, Nova Scotia, to visit the site of the legendary TOTAL DEATH TETHERBALL match of 1985! I reported on the match back-in-the-day for our old fanzine Suck City. It was a glorious day when Mr. 8 Squared, the infamous #64 for the original axe-murderers, BEN F*&KING UTT, former starting left guard for the Indianapolis Colts (nee Baltimore Colts), squashed Nasty Ronnie 8 matches to 0!!!

Well, bust my buttons, when we got there, the old Tetherball Pit was gone. But in it's place was a giant, humongous statue of a Mespachte Indian!!! Wow, I had forgotten that the Tetherball Pit was built on the site of an ancient Mespachte burial ground. You wouldn't believe how gi-huge-ic this statue was. LOOK!!!


In Nova Scotia, we also went to the Hank Snow Country Music Centre, in the sweet little city of Liverpool. A native of Liverpool, Hank Snow is one of my ultimate Gods (may his toupee rest in pieces). His EPIC Country Music, his majestic sequined suits, his impecable rug, his beguiling nasal vox, his astronomical 8 Cent factor, and his love for his Nova Scotia home (although he did move to Nashville, TN - the traitor!), makes Hank Snow muy masculino, and the Co-King of Canadian Country Music, an honor he shares with the amazing Wilf Carter! Check Hank out!!!


We also met some real nice guys in Halifax, down by the fishermen docks. Luckily for us, they posed for a picture. Would you believe that the guy on the far left was one of the original members of Anvil? No sh*t! He played bass. Canadian Metal!!! UNK!


Well, I don't want Rudo's Eight Cent Mavels to turn into too much of a travelogue vista site, but it is fun to share where you have been (kinda like trapping the kids and making them look at old family vacation pix!). Thanx for looking! I promise the next post will be back to the music.


Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

P.S. Here is the original Suck City "Total Death Tetherball" article, along with a ridiculously 8 Cent article on professional wrestling, by none other than Defect Removal.

08/08/08 Travelogue & Photo Essay!

People who are not familiar with Suck City, the old Metal zine from the 80's that I was co-editor of, probably are not familiar with the Importance of 8 Cents, and the Power of the Number 8! Well, let me tell you, 8 is the question, 8 is the answer, and if it ain't 8, it ain't great! So when the once in a lifetime day of 08/08/08 came upon us, we had to show the world how to truly live 8 Cents in word and deed. Yes, on 08/08/08 my son Anvilhead Rudosson and I went on a holy pilgrimage to pay homage to 8 Cents, out there in the big world. We didn't have to look too hard, and were blown away with what we found. We're now ready to share that with you!

First off, we went to down to Indiana University's Bloomington campus to show Anvilhead the campus, and for me to relive some of the most 8 cent moments in my life. Here is a pic of the dorm room that Astronomo and I used to share back in 1976-77. Isn't this exciting?!?!?!?!




Here is the bowling alley in the Student Union building. I wonder if The Dude, Walter, and Donny ever bowled here?????





Also in the Union Building was the offices of WQAX, the old free-form alternative "CABLE" FM radio station that Defect Removal, Umlatta, Cosmo, Carmelita, Silas B. Clark, Swa Sticka and I used to do crazy radio shows at. Like all good things, it eventually went under, and now the space is being used by the "Multi-Cultural Greek Council & National Pan-Hellenic Council." I wonder if Paul Fisher still comes by and annoys people working in there, asking for money, or if he could crash out on their couch? OUCH, scary memories there.... :-)


We then strolled to the Chemistry Building, a place that inflicted great pain on Astronomo and I. We hated this place with a passion! I spat on it, and it made me feel better!




In the Chemistry Building, we went into a classroom, and they had this painting of some great 8 Cent God, who looks a lot like Henry Kissinger! Give Me 8 Cents!







In downtown Bloomington there is this ridiculously artsy-fartsy cafe health food restaurant named the "Runcible Spoon" that all the Beards used to hang out at. Remember, this was the 70's and early 80's, before cafes and and health food became "fashionable." Well, it is still there. I used to eat the table scraps left in the garbage bin! I would climb into their dumpster and eat maggot infested tofu! Say Yeah! And yes, it is nice to see that the Beards still hang out here.....

My last Bloomington pic is of the house at 2222 E. 5th St. that Defect Removal, Swa Sticka, and I used to live at. Man, did we have some PARTIES at this house! It had a great big living room with a hard wood floor that made a great dance floor. Some of the theme dance parties we held were the "Soul Train Dance Party" and the "Groove-A-Thon." This was before my big Metal era (obviously)... I think Anvilhead was getting a bit bored of my stroll down memory lane, so it was time to move on..............

Next we hit the road for Cincinnati to take in a Reds-Astros baseball game. Anvilhead and I love going to baseball games, especially our hometown minor league team, the Indianapolis Indians. But this time we saw a big league game, ate some 8 cent ballpark food (that cost wayyy more than 8 cents), and had an 8 cent gr8 time! Ironically, Ken Griffey Jr. just got traded to my Chicago White Sox the week before this game, so their humongous mural to him was a TAD bit outdated...

The earthy looking fellow to your left is a statue of Ted Kluszewski, a great first baseman who played for the Reds between 1947 and 1957. This was also the 88th picture we took so far on our 08/08/08 journey, and certainly worthy of inclusion for that distinction alone!





Right inside the gate was a classic, classic old dude who was selling game programs. This guy epitomizes everything great about baseball, and I really hope I can be just like him when I retire and start working at Victory Field in Indianapolis!


I am very proud of Anvilhead who took this great action shot from our seats up in the upper deck. You can see the ball flying out just to the right of the pitcher. Way to go, Anvilhead!!! When the game was over, we were treated to a fabulous fireworks show that was probably the best I've ever seen. It was quite amazing!


Now things really took an 8 Cent turn, as we spent the night in a SUPER 8 MOTEL in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky! It was every bit as great a 2.5 star hotel can be! The 8 Cent vibe was beyond belief. We also watched the Puppy Olympics on the Animal Planet cable station when we got back from the game. If you are are ever in Fort Mitchell, you gotta stay there!


We then had an incredibly 8 cent experience at "Phil's Music Books & More" in Covington, KY. I had been here before with my other son, Meister1200 Rudosson, when we went to Cincy to see Opeth in 2006. They have a GR8 METAL selection, so I was ready to stock up on some very 8 Cent sh*t. So on a 08/08/08 Pilgrimage, what more appropriate to buy than Manowar?!?!??! I picked up their new CD "Gods Of War," a SUPER 8 MO-FO from last year, with a ridiculous amount of SUPER 8 story narration (ala Rhapsody) all about Odin and the old Nordic Gods, and in a really 8 Cent booming narrative voice with ghastly effects. What really made me laugh was the fact the CD has two covers. For retail purposes, the below cover was facing out of the jewel case...

And there is the real cover below, that is actually part of the CD booklet! GIVE ME 8 CENTS!!! BODACIOUS, NO DOUBT!


I also picked up Iced Earth's "Days Of Purgatory" for $8, a cool vinyl copy of Hawkwind's rare "The Chronicle Of The Black Sword" album from 1985, and the mighty Stonewall Jackson LP featured on the left for 50 cents! You gotta love Stonewall Jackson. His old traditional country is so EPIC, so masculine, so lonely, and so 8!


Anvilhead was really stoked about this comic book find. He loves Spiderman, and he loves Frogs even more. The combination was ridiculous! This really was one of the highlights of our whole trip. When we were ready to leave Covington, we chose White Castle as the place to make a bathroom stop. Man, it stunk in there!




Our last stop on the voyage was Big Bone Lick state park in Union, KY. But en route to the park , we saw a bunch of 8 cent yard sales and flea bag market type stuff outside along the highway. So we had to stop. We got two brand new Cincinnati Reds baseball hats for $5. But what was even BETTER, was I bought a WORKING 8-TRACK PLAYER!!! And what is even more amazing, it is an 8-TRACK recorder! It only cost 5 bucks!!! Hell, I would have paid $8 for it! Here's a pic of it at home, after I got it hooked up, playing my KISS "Destroyer" 8-Track that my lovely wife Angusette bought me. Yeah, it really works, and it sounds like SH*T! I love it! I almost got the pic taken at 8:08 pm, but I was a little too slow. However, since the date was actually 08/09/08 at this time, it was OK.

Now for Big Bone Lick. Here is a lovely pic of the lake at the park. Appropriately, Big Bone Lick is located very closely to the city of Beaver Lick, Kentucky. Geeeee.... I wonder what was up with that naming convention????


Well, maybe the names are for real because if you walk around in Big Bone Lick park, you see a zillion trees like the ones to the left that have been gnawed by beavers. Yep, there is a lot of beaver at Big Bone Lick! Anvilhead and I realized that we better not stumble and fall on our hike, because if we did, we would likely be impaled by all the sharp tree stumps protruding out of the ground! This would make a great Middle Ages battlefield!

And what is a "Celebration of 8" without playing Miniature Golf??? On 08/08/88, Umlatta and I celebrated the day by playing Putt-Putt. Anvilhead and I had the glorious opportunity to play miniature golf at Big Bone Lick State Park, one of the most boring but picturesque Putt-Putt courses I have ever played. What shocked us was they had a genuine real life Mespacte Indian standing on the course at the 18th hole! He was very still. It was a very inspiring way to end our day. Anvilhead had 5 holes in one, and I had 3, to total 8, so we knew it was time to go home.



We bid adieu to Big Bone Lick, drove through Beaver Lick, and went back home, blasting Manowar and Iced Earth the whole way. HAPPY 08/08/08 EVERYBODY!!!


Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

HAPPY 08/08/08 EVERYBODY!!!

(POST DATE: A thousand sincere pardons to "Nugey Z Q" for forgetfully forgetting that August 8th was her 88th birthday! Please, no wet noodle, please!)

What a day! What a celebration! Everywhere around the world, people are rejoicing and partying on the most universal and 8 cents of Holidays, 08/08/08!!! Man, I am stoked! To celebrate in style, my son Anvilhead Rudosson and I are heading to Bloomington, IN, then to Cincinnati to see the 8 cent Cincinnati Reds and the 8 cents Houston Astros, and then SPENDING THE NIGHT IN A SUPER 8 MOTEL! On Saturday, we''ll be recovering by going to Big Bone Lick park in Kentucky!

I hope everybody has a safe and happy holiday! Kiss your loved ones. Hug your hated ones! Piss on a tractor! Chew gum off of the sidewalk! Eat a Pot Pie and say a prayer to St. Nasty Ronnie! And remember, IF IT AIN'T 8, IT AIN'T GREAT!!!

Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

Belinda Carlisle and a Buffalo!

One day, this Buffalo walked into a bar in Bareback Saddle, South Dakota.........

And there working behind the counter, was none other than Belinda Carlisle, lead vocalist of The Go-Go's, and solo recording artist extraordinaire.

The Buffalo was astonished. "My, just how far the mighty have fallen," he muttered to himself. He ponied up to the bar, and ordered a Bloody Mary, and some Buffalo Wings. He said to Belinda, "Hey, how about them Tampa Bay Rays?" Belinda just stared at him blankly. The Buffalo went to Plan B. "Do you think Obama will pick Mitt Romney as his running mate?" Belinda just made a noise that kinda sounded like a burp, but really wasn't. Finally, the Buffalo went for broke, and pulled out the heavy artillery. "Hey, what do you think of Jane Wiedlin's solo career?" Unexpectedly, Belinda ran over to the piano in the corner of the bar, and started banging out a rousing version of "Yankee Doodle Dandy." The Buffalo couldn't take it any more. He paid his bill, left an 8 cent tip, and wandered back out to the South Dakota plains.

The End.

Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

Vintersorg Junior???

What young, pensive Extreme Metal God is this???? Could it be Vintersorg Junior? Will the comos change overnight? Will the Old Ones rise and thrash our modern deities? Will it snow icy blasts tonight? How can I put out 4 new Metal projects out all at once, and still hold down my day job, and go to school? And what exactly is a Microscopical Macrocosm???? (Cheers, Andreas!)

Only the Abominog knows, and he ain't sayin'!

Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

The Ol' "Brocas Helm" Ball!

The Crafty Old Veteran, the relief pitcher from Hell, is widely known for his amazing "Brocas Helm" ball, that has baffled hitters for decades. The pitch is associated with Metal band Brocas Helm because it possesses the same qualities of a Brocas Helm song - meaning it goes in all directions at once, and just when you think it is going to split into a million pieces, it darts over the plate to kill you! STRIKE THREE!!! Now, the Crafty Old Veteran reveals his inner secret of how to throw the Brocas Helm ball. Just look!



Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, the ball is dented! No wonder the Cirith Ungol softball team is undefeated! The aerodynamics of the pitch are scary, and puts batters into a starchy catatonic state. R8CM (Rudo's Eight Cent Marvels) learned that Baseball Hall of Fame relief pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm invented the pitch back in the 1950's, and gave it the apt 8 Cent name. R8CM recently asked Wilhem why he named it after Brocas Helm, especially since they wouldn't appear on the music scene until 30 years in the future. The relief ace replied "Snararoo! Kelpwashers! Brocas be Helm, how could it be called anything else?" What makes this all the more amazing is that Hoyt Wilhelm died in 2002.



For more on Brocas Helm, click here!

Mystery Woman Drinks Giant Can of OM

Check it out here, this bizarre but true story of the Mystery Woman Who Was Gonna Drink A Giant Can Of OM (Old Milwaukee NA - non-alcoholic, you nerds). OM was originally brewed by Allen Ginsburg, who Bob Dylan once wrote a song about.

An 8 Cent Marvel if I ever saw One.


UNK,
Rudo

In the Beginning....

In the beginning, there was a small boy who lived in Northern Indiana. He went to this shopping center a lot with his Grandmother and Mother during the 1960's. Why? Nobody knows, except that it had a lot to do with fabric stores. Why is this important? Most people don't care except me. But it has a lot to do with Epic Heavy Metal and Squirrely Progressive Rock. You can tell by the cracks in the cement, that look into the scattered depths of eternity, and the static between TV and radio stations.

So come along for the ride, as I sift my way through the sands of the hourglass. I will post a lot of my own homemade music mix CD's. Many of them Metal, many of them Prog, and quite a few of other persuasions. I will also post my own 8 cent CD cover art, lo-fi as they are. I am a free-flowing, wild-wind blowing MO-FO, with a mind of his own. Now I get to impose it on you! But don't be afraid of the man behind the curtain - the Bob Dole of this joint, for I am benign, and a happy soul. This is a place to sit back, relax, take your shoes off, and y'all come back now, here! (Howdy Jed)