Back From Truro, Nova Scotia!!!

If you thought I was dead, if you thought this blog was dead, neeeyahhh, phooey on you-ey, hug Baby Huey, sync or swym, HE AIN'T DEAD, JIM!!! Rudo Anvilmeister went underground for 21 years (1987-2008), and now you are giving me sh*t for being gone for 5 weeks? Give me an 8 Cent Break!!!

Yeah, me and the wifeee-poo Angusette celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and went on an amazing trip to the Northern Land of Canada, and a pilgrimage to Truro, Nova Scotia, to visit the site of the legendary TOTAL DEATH TETHERBALL match of 1985! I reported on the match back-in-the-day for our old fanzine Suck City. It was a glorious day when Mr. 8 Squared, the infamous #64 for the original axe-murderers, BEN F*&KING UTT, former starting left guard for the Indianapolis Colts (nee Baltimore Colts), squashed Nasty Ronnie 8 matches to 0!!!

Well, bust my buttons, when we got there, the old Tetherball Pit was gone. But in it's place was a giant, humongous statue of a Mespachte Indian!!! Wow, I had forgotten that the Tetherball Pit was built on the site of an ancient Mespachte burial ground. You wouldn't believe how gi-huge-ic this statue was. LOOK!!!


In Nova Scotia, we also went to the Hank Snow Country Music Centre, in the sweet little city of Liverpool. A native of Liverpool, Hank Snow is one of my ultimate Gods (may his toupee rest in pieces). His EPIC Country Music, his majestic sequined suits, his impecable rug, his beguiling nasal vox, his astronomical 8 Cent factor, and his love for his Nova Scotia home (although he did move to Nashville, TN - the traitor!), makes Hank Snow muy masculino, and the Co-King of Canadian Country Music, an honor he shares with the amazing Wilf Carter! Check Hank out!!!


We also met some real nice guys in Halifax, down by the fishermen docks. Luckily for us, they posed for a picture. Would you believe that the guy on the far left was one of the original members of Anvil? No sh*t! He played bass. Canadian Metal!!! UNK!


Well, I don't want Rudo's Eight Cent Mavels to turn into too much of a travelogue vista site, but it is fun to share where you have been (kinda like trapping the kids and making them look at old family vacation pix!). Thanx for looking! I promise the next post will be back to the music.


Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo

P.S. Here is the original Suck City "Total Death Tetherball" article, along with a ridiculously 8 Cent article on professional wrestling, by none other than Defect Removal.

The Ol' "Brocas Helm" Ball!

The Crafty Old Veteran, the relief pitcher from Hell, is widely known for his amazing "Brocas Helm" ball, that has baffled hitters for decades. The pitch is associated with Metal band Brocas Helm because it possesses the same qualities of a Brocas Helm song - meaning it goes in all directions at once, and just when you think it is going to split into a million pieces, it darts over the plate to kill you! STRIKE THREE!!! Now, the Crafty Old Veteran reveals his inner secret of how to throw the Brocas Helm ball. Just look!



Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, the ball is dented! No wonder the Cirith Ungol softball team is undefeated! The aerodynamics of the pitch are scary, and puts batters into a starchy catatonic state. R8CM (Rudo's Eight Cent Marvels) learned that Baseball Hall of Fame relief pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm invented the pitch back in the 1950's, and gave it the apt 8 Cent name. R8CM recently asked Wilhem why he named it after Brocas Helm, especially since they wouldn't appear on the music scene until 30 years in the future. The relief ace replied "Snararoo! Kelpwashers! Brocas be Helm, how could it be called anything else?" What makes this all the more amazing is that Hoyt Wilhelm died in 2002.



For more on Brocas Helm, click here!