Tales From 8-Cent-O-Graphic Oceans

"I am the Ocean, " said Larry, just a few minutes before we got busted...


Yeah, David Crosby, I'm gonna let my "freak flag fly," because I am here today to tell you Ladies and Gentlemen, that I don't give a flying f*&k what the hipsters say, Yes' "Tales From Topographic Oceans" is one of my absolute, absolute favorite records in the whole frickin' Universe! And this has been the truth since the summer of 1974 when I bought this totally awesome spectacle of 8 Cent Magick! (Remember that, Astronomo?) "Tales" is so vast, so spectacular, so mind-bendingly 8 and Gr-8, that is goes off the Richter Scale of Spectacularness into a vat of gooey oceanic Prog, led by 5 very wild guys who were laying it on the line, saying what they mean, playin' what they felt (who cares if that meant some ancient old Shastric scriptures), who never wore shiny black FBI shoes, who were into the pudding of topography, and took a ride on the Fish around the Pyramid of Enlightenment!

"Tales From Topographic Oceans" is *THE ALBUM* snarky hipsters love to rag on the most about pretentious Progressive Rock (snicker-snicker, yucky-yuck-yuck), light another cigarette, push up the Elvis "Hi, I'm Buddy Holly gone bad" Costello glasses up the nose, and suck it in, you weightless mass of contradictory basketball nets! According to Dictionary.com, the word pretentious means:

–adjective

1.	full of pretense or pretension.

2.	characterized by assumption of dignity or importance.

3.	making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.

IF THAT AIN'T ANOTHER WORD FOR JOHNNY (I secretly loved Van Der Graaf Generator and Can) ROTTEN, I'LL EAT MY TOFU HAT!!!

For those uninitiated, "Tales" is a little over 80 minutes of illustrative Prog Rock, a magnificent double album opus, graced by the most legendary of legendary album cover illustrators, Roger "These Ain't No Ham Hocks Around My Neck" Dean, one of the Godz of Gods. This is usually an album that people either love or tend to hate, even ardent Yes fans. If you can't tell, I LOVE IT!!! Some are inclined to think the four 20 minute album side songs or suites are a bit overblown, and a tad padded with fiddle-faddle. Well, at a moment or two, I can kinda see some people's point, but to me, "Tales" is absolutely perfect as it is, I wouldn't cut one moment. In fact, if there was any way that it could be twice as long, twice as epic, twice as monstrously awesome, I would even support a third term for Dubya, *if* he endorsed in his platform a 160 minute "Tales From Topographic Oceans 2!"

Here at "Rudo's 8 Cent Marvels," I will not post commercially released albums for free, because that is wrong. But I do post homemade mix compilations, because that is my art, and my gift (through the benefacting musical creators) to all of you, to share my musical heart, and my passion. However, on a rare occasion, I will post a "BOOTLEG" by some famous artist, 'cause as Keith Richards once said, "If you ain't bein' bootlegged, you ain't happenin'." Well my dear friends and taters, Yes was really happenin' in 1973-1974, and I would like to share that with you!

Below you will find two links to the famous "Yessongs 2" bootleg, recorded at Madison Square Garden on February 18th, 1974. The f*&kers had the *BALLS*, the *CAJONES* to play the whole album in its entirety, in a row, to a crowd of head scratchin' freaks who may not have even heard the whole damn thing yet! Yes, there is the occasional scream for "Roundabout," but these EPIC masters don't hold anything back, and let the crowd have it Topographic style right between the eyes! Unfortunately, the boot isn't totally complete, because while it contains all of "Tales," these 8 Cent MO-FO's played all of "Close To Edge" too! Talk about pure masculine EPIC madness! How totally perfect, how amazing. The boot of Tales sounds damn good, having gotten a recent remastering by the legendary Yes bootleg remastering legend, The Tooleman (whoever he was)! It's an audience recording, but it has very good sound, extremely listenable. "The Remembering" gets a couple of nice twists. Rick "Journey To The Centre Of the 8-Cent Earth" Wakeman stretches out the climatic atmospheric oceanic keys bit, and the thing builds to an orgasmic peak, say YEAH! Another thing of beauty is imagining Steve Howe's Adam's Apple bobbin' during his absolutely MANIACAL guitar workout in the insane "The Ancient." That used to be my least favorite side, now I can't stop playing this live one! As Gene Simmons would say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Links:

Download Disc One

Download Disc Two

Password (you NEED THIS to open the file): lagrimapsicodelica


Give Me 8 Cents!
Rudo

Belinda Carlisle and a Buffalo!

One day, this Buffalo walked into a bar in Bareback Saddle, South Dakota.........

And there working behind the counter, was none other than Belinda Carlisle, lead vocalist of The Go-Go's, and solo recording artist extraordinaire.

The Buffalo was astonished. "My, just how far the mighty have fallen," he muttered to himself. He ponied up to the bar, and ordered a Bloody Mary, and some Buffalo Wings. He said to Belinda, "Hey, how about them Tampa Bay Rays?" Belinda just stared at him blankly. The Buffalo went to Plan B. "Do you think Obama will pick Mitt Romney as his running mate?" Belinda just made a noise that kinda sounded like a burp, but really wasn't. Finally, the Buffalo went for broke, and pulled out the heavy artillery. "Hey, what do you think of Jane Wiedlin's solo career?" Unexpectedly, Belinda ran over to the piano in the corner of the bar, and started banging out a rousing version of "Yankee Doodle Dandy." The Buffalo couldn't take it any more. He paid his bill, left an 8 cent tip, and wandered back out to the South Dakota plains.

The End.

Give Me 8 Cents,
Rudo